Fixing the hole(s) where the rain gets in

A lot of people have been asking/commenting on the fact that I've been notably absent lately from the online community. I've also been more absent than usual in the 3D community. One reason is that I've been dealing with some medical issues in the past few months. (I'm fine. I'm okay. Or, I'll be fine, I'll be okay.)

I thought I'd take a minute to share some information that might be helpful to some of you.

I'm poor and uninsured. There. I've said it. That being the case, these past few months have been especially stressful for me because of doctor bills, lab tests, prescriptions, etc. But even though I've spent hundreds of dollars that I technically don't have, I've also saved hundreds. How?

ASK! ASK! ASK!

So many people are uninsured (or grossly under insured) and those in the medical profession understand this. There's no shame in needing medical help and not being able to afford it. Let me say it another way. You deserve to be healthy regardless of your financial situation. Obamacare not withstanding.

There are four things I do regularly that save me HUNDREDS of dollars every month.

1) Ask your doctor if they offer reduced rates for services.  If you don't ask, you'll never know. Some doctors and other professionals have a sliding fee scale. Some will offer you the rate at which they are reimbursed by insurance companies - which is seldom the number you see on your bill.  I did this and had one person reduce their rate from $100 to $60.  All I had to do was ask.

2) If you're going in for a follow up visit to have something re-checked, ask if it's possible to have the nurse run the test or do the check up. I had to go back to one doctor for a follow up test. The cost for the office visit was $125.  I asked if I could just see the nurse and have her run the simple test.  Cost?  $8.

3)  Before getting a prescription filled, call every pharmacy in your area and get their price. Generics are always better if your doctor agrees.  Then, if it's not convenient to drive all around town, go to your nearest pharmacy and ask them to match the lowest price you can find.  It's been my experience that they always will.  After all, they would rather have some of your money than none of it.  I've paid $11 for a $34 prescription. You just have to ask.

4)  For expensive, ongoing prescriptions, there are almost always patient assistance programs.  Ask your doctor, or go online to find out about them.  Just do a Google search for the brand name.  You can download the forms.  You'll fill out a page or two, include your most recent tax return and give the whole thing to your doctor who will fill out the rest and send it in for you.  If you qualify, your meds will be shipped directly to your doctor in three month supplies.  You'll have to re-apply every six months, but for someone like me, it's more than worth it.  I take over $1000 in medication every month - and it's all free. Directly from the drug company that makes the product.

Take care of yourself. Easy to say, believe me, I know. But it IS possible if you're willing to ask for help.

Anyone else have any tips on how to save money on healthcare if your uninsured?

Ok Go - Here It Goes Again (The Treadmill Video)

Body Image

I was in the shower this morning when my son walked in for whatever reason, and something occurred to me.  I have never been self-conscious around him.  I don't run around in the nude, of course, but since it's always been just the two of us, we pretty much have an open door policy.

My body image is skewed, to say the least. Regardless of my weight, heavy or not, when I look in the mirror I always see the same me and I don't like what I see. (which is why the mirrors over the bathroom sinks are the only two in our house.)

Anyway, Andy doesn't know what it is to be ashamed of one's body.  All his life I've told him, every single day, that he's the most perfect, the smartest and the most handsome guy in the world.  Because he is. No one has ever told him anything different, so why should he think otherwise?  But here's what I thought about this morning.  Andy doesn't care what I look like either.

When he walks in on me in the shower, he doesn't look at my stomach and say, "Whoa, Mom! What the hell happened there?"  He doesn't look at my breasts and say, "Better roll those things up before you trip over them."  He just sees me.  His Mom. And he loves me.

I could learn a lot from my son.

My trainer tells me I look different now than I did 20 some pounds ago. Common sense tells me this must be true, but I don't see it and I don't really feel any different either. Maybe it will come with the next 20...or the 20 after that. One thing that's different, though, is that I'm feeling a little better about myself every day. That's a good thing. What will be a great thing? When feeling good about myself is no longer contingent upon a number on a scale.

Now THAT will be a great day.

Dealing With ED

I feel like a fraud.

I finished my memoir about my meth addiction and recovery. I signed with an agent. I've worked with two editors and am beginning the final draft of the book. And I feel like it's all bullshit. All I've done is trade one addiction for another.

I've struggled with bulimia and compulsive overeating all my life. This is my eating disorder. My ED. It started when I was twelve years old. The only time I've been free from it is when I've been on drugs. It's amazing what cocaine, prescription diet pills and/or meth will do for and eating disorder. Why, the ED just disappears! But take away the drugs and here we go again.

So I'm a fraud.

It's all the same thing - numbing out. Things or ways to distract me from whatever demons I'm still running from. I thought I was fixed. I thought I was all better. I thought that being drug and alcohol free meant everything was okay. But it's not. I'm not.

So I put myself in Fat Chick Rehab at my parent's house a few weeks ago, and it's helped. (My parents are truly wonderful people. They're the ones who made it possible for me to go to drug rehab.)  I've lost weight - the healthy way - and started exercising every day. Being with Mom and Dad has helped get me on the right track.  It's also been a reminder of the origin of my eating disorder. So I'm moving back home this weekend.

My parents aren't the cause of my bulimia any more than they're the cause of my drug addiction. They didn't cause it, and they can't fix it. I have to do that. So I'm going back to a therapist I saw ten years ago who specializes in eating disorders. I quit seeing her because my ED disappeared.

I didn't tell her I'd started doing cocaine and prescription diet pills. This time I will.