Wednesday, August 5, 2009

A Day in the Life

What does a writer/aspiring author do all day? No, seriously. What do I do all day besides obsess about submissions and query letters? Lucky you, you're about to find out.

5:00 am Wake up to a song on the radio alarm clock which will now be stuck in my head all day.
5:15 am Start pumping caffeine into my system. Coffee or Diet Mountain Dew, which, by the way, is the elixir of the gods.
5:20 am Check e-mail for new invites/followers from Facebook and Twitter, respectively
5:25 am Check Facebook and Twitter for updates on the world and the people in it
5:30 am Read editor and agent blogs. Comment when appropriate.
6:00 am Acknowledge son who is now lurking behind me. Say, "Good morning, bug. Did you sleep good? Did you have some good dreams?" Refuse to talk about watching movies backwards, Star Wars, Mamma Mia or whatever else he's currently obsessing about. Talk about it anyway.
6:10 am Continue to check blogs. Check e-mail for agent responses, knowing they're in New York and should be up by now, dammit.
6:20 am Tell the bug in a boy suit that he's too stinky to be unleashed upon society. Start shower for him. Refuse to talk about movies, Star Wars, movies backwards, etc. Talk about it anyway.
6:30 am Make lunch for soon-to-be unstinky boy. Man? Oy.
6:45 am Begin blog entry or stare at computer screen wondering why I have no idea what to blog about.
7:00 am Check meth discussion boards and comment when appropriate. Also, wait with the bug for his van service to pick him up. Refuse to talk about redundant subjects. Check e-mail for agent responses. Have following conversation with son: "Where's the van?" "I don't know, honey. It's coming." "Mom, where's the van?" "I don't know, honey. It'll be here." Repeat ad nauseum until the damn van finally shows up.
7:15 am Thrown on clothes, brush teeth, get dressed. Check e-mail for agent responses.
7:30 - 10:00 am Drive people to developmental therapy. Constantly check phone for calls from agents who've requested fulls.
10:15 am Check e-mail for agent responses.
10:20 - 11:00 am Finish blog entry or lament lack thereof, re-check messages boards and blogs, Twitter, Facebook, post when appropriate
11:00 am A) Walk 5 miles B) Walk 2.5 miles C) Decide I'd be a damn fool to walk in 100 degree temperature. Feel guilty about not walking or feel like a damn fool for walking in 100 degree temperature.
11:10 am If not walking, check e-mail for agent responses. Write or stare at computer screen.

12:30 Check e-mail for agent responses, nap
2:30 Drive people home from developmental therapy
4:30 Check e-mail for agent responses, check Twitter, Facebook, agent/editor blogs, meth messages boards, comment when appropriate (I'm trying to build my platform, after all) Write.
5:00 Decide that it's not good for me to obsess about agents. Refuse to talk to son about current obsessions which now include having pizza for dinner. Talk about it anyway.
5:30 *Yell at son for playing harmonica out his second floor bedroom window for passers by. Give him dinner. Refuse to talk about lack of pizza, movies backwards, Star Wars, Mamma Mia, etc. Talk about it anyway.
6:00 Check e-mail for agent responses. Write. Engage in more social networking.
6:30 *Yell at son again about giving free concerts out his bedroom window. Refuse to discuss current obsessions.
7:00 Check e-mail for agent responses, social networking, attempt to ignore feelings of self-doubt and hopelessness.
7:30 Try to explain to son why he can't have pizza every night for dinner. Refuse to discuss current obsessions. Talk about them anyway.
8:00 Put son to bed. Spend 5 - 10 minutes discussing clouds and weather and why he can't sleep with his window open. (too hot)
8:30 Check e-mail for agent responses. One last look at social networking sites and agents/editor blogs
9:00 Check e-mail for agent responses
9:02 Go to bed, promising myself that I'll clean at least one room in the house tomorrow.
9:10 Fall asleep wondering why I haven't heard from any agents yet.
* Disclaimer: I don't really yell at him, but I do use his "in trouble" name, as in, "Andrew Thomas, close that window! It's too damn hot for free concerts!"

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