My memoir, CRYSTAL CLEAN: It took me three years to write and another year working with an editor to get it polished. I landed a New York literary agent and thought my dreams were coming to fruition. Then I lost the agent. Then I lost confidence in the project.
Then I met Jacob.
Jacob, if you don't already know, is my personal trainer. I met him in Dec. '11 and my life hasn't been the same since. Let me introduce you to Jacob. He's a young man with a seemingly ever expanding family and no hair. He's maddeningly upbeat and he likes to dance, doing a goofy little white-boy-shuffle that's as obnoxious as it is endearing. His energy is contagious and, oh yes...he's right about everything. If you don't believe me, just ask him.
He's also the most inspiring person I've ever met. He's a rabbi, priest, therapist and most trusted confidante all rolled into one very centered and supportive soul. "We're going to change your whole life," he told me when I started working with him. "The weight loss will only be a small part of that."
I'm beginning to understand. I can either continue to sit back and hope life will come to me, or I can start to take control, shape my world and actually live the life I've only previously dreamed of. To that end, I've decided to e-publish my memoir.
I thought I needed to be accepted into the golden circle of traditional publishing for my book to have meaning. I thought that they were the only ones qualified to judge my work and that if I were anointed, it would mean I had something to say and was good enough to be the one to say it. What it came down to was this: I lack platform. My agent didn't think there was enough awareness of who I am to garner interest for my story. In OTHER words: Who am I and why should anyone give a rat's ass about what I have to say? This is a valid point. If no one knows about me, how is a publisher supposed to sell my book?
Okay, so how does one obtain a platform? Being famous = platform. Notoriety = platform. Creating buzz = platform. Obviously, my only hope is in the latter.
Maybe New York is right. Maybe no one cares enough to read about some unknown woman in Idaho and the story of her addiction to and recovery from meth. But maybe they're not and all I need is to find a way to get the word out to readers. That's what I'm hoping you'll help me with, if you believe in what I'm doing.
I've started a project on KickStarter which you can read about here. I hope you'll consider helping me, but more importantly you can help me by spreading the word about my story and my book. If you can, take a few minutes to browse through some past blog posts to see if this is something you'd feel good about standing behind. If so, you can help me by spreading the word via FaceBook, Twitter, blogs and even in your local community. I'll be available for speaking engagements once the book is released.
Let people know about me and my project, CRYSTAL CLEAN. There are rewards for donations. Feel free to write to me or leave a comment if you have questions. Thank you, in advance!
To say that this is a little scary for me would be grossly understating reality. I'm so apprehensive about this, my legs are jiggling like jack-hammers under my desk as I write this post. But all my doubts and hesitations about going forward with publishing aren't as strong as my belief in the book and how important I think it will be for people to read.
Like I said, I'm beginning to understand what Jacob's trying to drill into my thick skull. I'm changing my life and a big part of that involves me putting myself out there because if I don't try, I'll never know what I'm capable of. I'm betting on big things.