I'm having problems with my blog. I can't decide what I want it to look like. Actually, I know what I want it to look like, I'm just having trouble figuring out how to make that happen. My dad designs web sites (and does a stellar job, I might add) so he gives me advice about how to make the blog readable and aesthetically pleasing at the same time.
So I'm thinking about just creating an actual web site and sort of morphing this into that. I bought the domain name last night, so it'll be thenext24.net (.org was taken...grrr!)
I've been thinking this morning about how exactly to design it, what I'd like to put on it etc. My main reasons for having this blog (and web-site-to-be) are to talk about addiction and recovery, and to build a platform for my book, DISAMBIGUATION. I have a few things in mind, but would be open to suggestions.
All the usual negative/addict thinking is taking up space in my head:
1) what makes you think anyone cares what you have to say?
2) what the hell do you need a web site for? you're not even published yet!
3) don't you have something better to do with your time?
4) when are you going to quit trying to live out this fantasy you have of being a published author?
I've been thinking about all that, and here's what I've come up with:
1) I've had feedback from people saying they like what I'm doing and that it's helped them
2) A web site would provide different opportunities to "get myself out there"/develop a platform 3) No, not really
4) I don't know. Never?
I keep thinking about the book/movie, The Secret. Cheesy? Maybe, but I feel like if I live my life pursuing my passion (which is writing and "giving back", as they say in recovery) I'll have joy. And if I live my life as if my dreams have already come true, then eventually they will. The whole universe will just get sick of my determination and refusal to quit just because I feel small and inadequate.
On my best days, I have no doubts at all about my dreams and goals. On my worst days, I feel like a poser. Today is a pretty good day.